Waiting and Prepping

Hi Friends,

Today was comprised of tasks in preparation for Thursday, with a little down time to look at a the recently-released auction book of Michael Jackson photographs. (They are totally distracting.) I had another nurse today (Lydia, not Christina, my usual nurse) who was less impressed with the progress of my back wound. Not to be too graphic, but there is more discharge today (uugh, sorry) which is not great. I'm not sure what they will say at the hospital, but I'm committed to keeping the surgery on Thursday if we can. Maybe they should just do the surgery, put me on a spit and rotate according to which part side of me needs to be drained or packed or cleaned or changed. I'm good with that.
I just got back from the dentist's office. Over the last few months I have developed some sensitivity in a few teeth, so I asked them to put on a little of that gel that desensitizes them. That way I won't have any tooth discomfort over the next few weeks until I'm ready to go in for a real visit. The office is in south Mississauga, and I had a really nice drive home on the QEW while blaring some old Genesis tunes I haven't heard in a while. I love the feeling of driving on Toronto highways, a little over the speed limit, alone, with great music filling the car. Freedom. In the cold early spring, I'll do that with the window down and heat on full. So I'm driving along today, relaxed, content and then whammo - um, I'm having surgery in two days. So I went up to the next level of surgical awareness, you might say. I'm still quite calm, but now more aware of what's coming next, or at least aware of the unpredictability of what's coming next. Roberta and Judy sent me a lovely bamboo plant today (thank you), so I'll meditate next to that plant before going in.
After chemo, all things seem possible, and I know all will be fine, but there is always stress with losing body parts. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling that tonight.
Love,
Kip