Tuesday, from Catherine

Back from Edmonton, it was an overwhelming week there. Sharon's memorial was pretty much perfect.

Today I buzzed Kip's hair to a length that would make any marine proud. It's falling out pretty fast, but of course, Kip has the world's most beautiful head so that's less upsetting for the rest of us than for her. Kip is sporting a beautiful black toque that makes me need to speak in French. Nausea continues to be a problem, but it's better than yesterday. We went for a short walk in the fall air and realized we've never spent September together. Today Julie picked up the first season of Glee and Prime Suspect (the complete collection) so we're pretty damned excited. Love to all, Catherine

Monday, Sept, 13

Hi Everyone,
Well, today is the first time in 41 years that I wasn't going back to school (on my sabbatical I took the winter terms, so I was always back in September). A strange feeling. Did it all go ok with those of you who went back?
Today I struggled with some nausea throughout the day, and felt like I'm in between worlds. I think that's true physically speaking, I'm just off the big drugs from the chemo but not yet quite ready to eliminate the last drug. They want me off the last one as soon as possible, and I reduced it once, but I'm not able to go without it yet. I'll do another day before I try to go down again. It's important not to get behind the nausea...it's a little unforgiving when it has the upper hand.
Hope you are all well...
Much love,
Kip

Sunday, Sept. 12

Hello Friends,
I had a very nice visit with Sammi today, and otherwise rested for the day. The fatigue is strong, although sleep does not come easily. Today is day 4 after chemo, which means I'm off the heavy anti-nausea drugs and down to one drug to control that. Doing ok on that front.
I'm adding a picture that Julie took of me with some flowers I received this week (thank you Susan and Frieda for those). Thanks to all of you who have written, called and sent vibes...your support is really wonderful and lifts me up everyday.
Much love, Kip

Saturday, Sept 11

Hi Everyone,
I had two lovely visits today, one from Dorit early this afternoon and one from Faye later this aft. Then the fatigue factor really hit and I'm totally exhausted tonight. So a short entry for this evening...
much love,
k

Day one after chemo...

Hi Everyone,
Overall, a very good day. The nausea wasn't as bad today as the first day after the first chemo, and I have a little more life force this time around. Things change daily, and I don't know what comes tomorrow, but today I was in the moment and happy for my progress.
I thought I would share that for the past few weeks I have been calling my breasts by name and I have found this to be quite helpful, for numerous reasons. The left breast (the one with cancer) I have named "Tito": not only is this a reference to a body part, but Tito was an energetic member of the Jackson 5. Kind of unpredictable, at times a bit out of control. The right one is "Blanket": son of Michael, quiet, seemingly very gentle, but we don't know much about him yet. Not sure yet if he is benign. But for now, he's quiet.
I could feel Tito burning today, and that's a great sign. The tumor is melting away. It's a day you don't want to take pain killers so you can feel the process happening. Tito is on the run.
Love,
Kip

Chemo #2

Jules reporting for Chemo Day #2.

After the long weekend, Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH for future reference) was more like Grand Central Station today, as staff tried to squeeze in Monday's 100 chemo patients throughout the remainder of the week. Like traveling through Grand Central, with its often tedious and endless delays, the chemo daycare process followed suit today. Hence, Susan (Kip's close friend and great colleague from McMaster University) and Kip were required to be patient patients in the chemo "daycare" waitroom. Yes, they did have the option to take a "restaurant buzzer" and leave the daycare to have a coffee or a short walk, the buzzer alerting them to return or else miss their seating for this necessary but quite unappetizing "meal". Instead, optimistic as they are, they remained close at hand to the daycare hostess in case the "rush" for chemo was not as bad as anticipated. Alas, it was wishful thinking and the wait dragged on for 2 hours. Kip, who uses every moment wisely, was, as per usual, an ideal patient, keeping well hydrated with spring water so that her veins would be at the ready. They were. It went well. She is home. Sipping ginger ale. Not moving at any great speed. Very positive. Quite sleepy. Happy to have Chemo Day #2 almost over with.

These next few days are the biggest hurdle so all your good wishes and thoughts, prayers and vibes are most appreciated. Good night.

Jules on behalf of Kip

Wednesday, Sept 8

Today was biopsy day on the "other" breast, the right one. Some questionable spots emerged on the ultrasound and MRI in July, and they aspirated it a few weeks ago but didn't get enough tissue to determine if there were cancerous cells. (The aspiration involved a needle that extracted tissue with no freezing. I don't remember feeling pain like that in a long, long time.) I was scheduled for a biopsy today so that they would have enough information, but my blood counts were still too low, and I was at risk for infection. So they aspirated again, but this time with freezing. Then they inserted a clip inside next to the questionable spots. That way if it is cancer, and it shrinks away with the chemo, they know where it was so they can do a lumpectomy. We have already decided that because of these "active" places, however, both breasts will be removed.
In the meantime, I feel like a small homing pigeon.
Chemo Number 2 starts tomorrow at 2:00. Susan Fast is coming into town to take me in for treatment. I'll sign off now for a couple of days and be back in touch on the weekend.
Much love,
Kip