Dear friends,
Catherine here. It was a long day, chauffered by Judy Davidson, we waited 3 and a half hours to get into chemo daycare, but Kip is now officially half way through chemo! She is now sleeping and will write again tomorrow. In the meantime, know that your poetry helped us pass the time today in the ward.
Love to all,
Catherine
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Wednesday, October 6
How lucky am I to have all of you as friends? Thank you for your poetry and love and cards and gifts and warmth...your support is amazing. And thanks to Lily, my friend and Dorit's 4-year old daughter, for her get well wish (above). Lily, it's beautiful.
Tomorrow is chemo #4, the last of the harsher chemo. By this time tomorrow I will be able to say that I'm halfway through the treatment. I don't look forward to tomorrow, but I really look forward to having it over. Chemo really teaches one to stay "in the moment": if I think about the actual treatment I can make myself really sick. I have concentrated all week just staying present and not going there and that has been a good practice.
I'll sign off and be back in contact in a few days.
With much love and appreciation,
Kip
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday, October 5
Dear Friends,
Thanks for the poetry...it's fabulous, funny, moving, and really touching. I love your contributions.
Today we went to see my oncologist in preparation for my next treatment on Thursday and for an update. Tito is one centimeter smaller, and in total, it has almost shrunk in half. Now we really feel like we have this thing on the run. The doctor was palpating under my arm where there was further swelling and that too is down considerably. This makes thinking about the next treatment more bearable.
I ordered a Kindle on Friday (the result of heightened boredom and a handy VISA card) and it arrived today. I downloaded my first text, Ruth Rakoff''s new book *When My World Was Very Small.* It's the story of her challenges during treatment for breast cancer, including surgery and chemo. It's smart, sometimes very funny and recounts her treatment at a "cancer centre" in Toronto (which I believe is the Princess Margaret) with, I believe, some of the same doctors I have (only their initials are provided). I can visualize the rooms she describes, so too can I appreciate her fear, her anxiety in the tests, the sounds and smells. It's comforting to read the words of someone who is through the process and now healthy.
We ate Dorit's meatballs for dinner tonight with Catherine's homemade pasta sauce. Julie's ginger cookies for dessert (recipe posted yesterday). All incredibly delicious.
Will I remember how to cook when this is all over? With food this good, perhaps not...
Much love,
Kip
Thanks for the poetry...it's fabulous, funny, moving, and really touching. I love your contributions.
Today we went to see my oncologist in preparation for my next treatment on Thursday and for an update. Tito is one centimeter smaller, and in total, it has almost shrunk in half. Now we really feel like we have this thing on the run. The doctor was palpating under my arm where there was further swelling and that too is down considerably. This makes thinking about the next treatment more bearable.
I ordered a Kindle on Friday (the result of heightened boredom and a handy VISA card) and it arrived today. I downloaded my first text, Ruth Rakoff''s new book *When My World Was Very Small.* It's the story of her challenges during treatment for breast cancer, including surgery and chemo. It's smart, sometimes very funny and recounts her treatment at a "cancer centre" in Toronto (which I believe is the Princess Margaret) with, I believe, some of the same doctors I have (only their initials are provided). I can visualize the rooms she describes, so too can I appreciate her fear, her anxiety in the tests, the sounds and smells. It's comforting to read the words of someone who is through the process and now healthy.
We ate Dorit's meatballs for dinner tonight with Catherine's homemade pasta sauce. Julie's ginger cookies for dessert (recipe posted yesterday). All incredibly delicious.
Will I remember how to cook when this is all over? With food this good, perhaps not...
Much love,
Kip
Monday, October 4, 2010
Monday, October 4
Hi Friends,
We had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner #2 last night with Susan Fast and Julie Salverson. Catherine prepared a fantastic dinner and it was made complete with homemade cranberry sauce from Mrs. ("Mamma") Clarke. Thank you for that.
Today included a walk and some reading (I'm listening to the audiobook of "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and it's great). I saw a reference to ginger cookies and couldn't get them out of my mind; tonight, Jules made me some. I've got a few days of really enjoyable eating ahead of me and it feels great to taste such good food.
I wanted to invite anyone who had a poem or short piece of prose to write them out for us on the blog. I really liked your reading suggestions, and if you have anything you might like to post--like a piece of poetry--please do. I'd love that.
Off to the hospital in the morning for an appointment, so I'm off to bed.
Much love,
Kip
We had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner #2 last night with Susan Fast and Julie Salverson. Catherine prepared a fantastic dinner and it was made complete with homemade cranberry sauce from Mrs. ("Mamma") Clarke. Thank you for that.
Today included a walk and some reading (I'm listening to the audiobook of "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and it's great). I saw a reference to ginger cookies and couldn't get them out of my mind; tonight, Jules made me some. I've got a few days of really enjoyable eating ahead of me and it feels great to taste such good food.
I wanted to invite anyone who had a poem or short piece of prose to write them out for us on the blog. I really liked your reading suggestions, and if you have anything you might like to post--like a piece of poetry--please do. I'd love that.
Off to the hospital in the morning for an appointment, so I'm off to bed.
Much love,
Kip
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Sunday, October 3
Dear Friends,
Today was the Run for the Cure and my friend Brenda Ravenscroft and her daughter Mitzi ran on my behalf this morning in Kingston. Thank you both, I am really touched. I have run this race many times for other people and it is quite emotional for me to have people run it on my behalf.
Love to all,
Kip
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Purgatory definitions...
Dear Friends,
Walter wrote to me privately today and reminded me that purgatory is also defined as a place where one is cleansed. This makes new sense to me: it's a place where one purges. Thanks, Walter. The cleansers are not so pleasant, but by the end I hope to be purified.
Judy Davidson came by this afternoon and we had a really nice visit. My energy is better today and I had moments of feeling like myself again. I even managed to drive Judy to the subway station at the end of the afternoon. I'm like the "boy in the bubble" when I'm in my car: I want to keep myself physically distant from strangers while my immune is low, but I can drive amongst them and no one needs to know any differently. It's a great way of feeling like I'm part of the world.
As I quipped to Catherine this afternoon, I'm watching autumn arrive by viewing the one tree outside my window (I feel a little like Anne Frank!) The tree is still almost entirely green, and it's always the last one to turn in the fall. When it loses its leaves, I might be close to finishing this treatment. Perhaps we will be done at the same time.
I might go out and cut it down now.
Love,
Kip
Walter wrote to me privately today and reminded me that purgatory is also defined as a place where one is cleansed. This makes new sense to me: it's a place where one purges. Thanks, Walter. The cleansers are not so pleasant, but by the end I hope to be purified.
Judy Davidson came by this afternoon and we had a really nice visit. My energy is better today and I had moments of feeling like myself again. I even managed to drive Judy to the subway station at the end of the afternoon. I'm like the "boy in the bubble" when I'm in my car: I want to keep myself physically distant from strangers while my immune is low, but I can drive amongst them and no one needs to know any differently. It's a great way of feeling like I'm part of the world.
As I quipped to Catherine this afternoon, I'm watching autumn arrive by viewing the one tree outside my window (I feel a little like Anne Frank!) The tree is still almost entirely green, and it's always the last one to turn in the fall. When it loses its leaves, I might be close to finishing this treatment. Perhaps we will be done at the same time.
I might go out and cut it down now.
Love,
Kip
Friday, October 1, 2010
Friday, Oct. 1 - Purgatory
Dear Friends,
I have decided that purgatory is the best way to describe this state of being. Not enough energy to move, nor able to sleep, I am in a twilight of life force. I thought to myself today, when was the last time I really stopped? And I think I never really have. While I have a few editing projects that I am anxious to finish, creating new thoughts seems very far beyond my reach. I am actually settling in to be okay with this, after fighting with it for a time. It is quite strange to think about a whole parallel life going on without me.
Barb stopped by this afternoon for a visit, and she and Catherine went to get the fixings for the next Thanksgiving dinner! Sunday promises to be delicious. I am at the end of the low cycle (day 10) and look forward to a little more energy in the coming days. In the meantime, we have unwatched episodes of Glee ready for us.
Love,
Kip
I have decided that purgatory is the best way to describe this state of being. Not enough energy to move, nor able to sleep, I am in a twilight of life force. I thought to myself today, when was the last time I really stopped? And I think I never really have. While I have a few editing projects that I am anxious to finish, creating new thoughts seems very far beyond my reach. I am actually settling in to be okay with this, after fighting with it for a time. It is quite strange to think about a whole parallel life going on without me.
Barb stopped by this afternoon for a visit, and she and Catherine went to get the fixings for the next Thanksgiving dinner! Sunday promises to be delicious. I am at the end of the low cycle (day 10) and look forward to a little more energy in the coming days. In the meantime, we have unwatched episodes of Glee ready for us.
Love,
Kip
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