Dear Friends,
As predicted, today I had less nausea than yesterday (although this cycle there has not yet been a day with no nausea). My nails continue to grow at a fast and furious pace (but alas, I am not getting taller, as Sammi asked). My world is getting smaller; it is quite remarkable to spend so much time doing so little. Moving from room to room, watching my nails grow. Then I walk up a flight of stairs and feel like I have run a marathon (low hemoglobin means I have no wind) so it is all rather strange. Oprah seems particularly dull this season, and Dr. Oz should just be cancelled. Daytime television is a nightmare, really.
Thank you for all of your reading suggestions. We think we will keep the poetry for home, and read Harry Potter at chemo. Magic, potions, evil, but in the end goodness wins the day, it all seems rather appropriate.
My mother was prescribed prednisone to help with pain and inflammation and she has only taken one dose, but I hope she sees improvement in the next day or so.
Tomorrow is October (Catherine begins driving lessons this month!) and fall is definitely here. Much love,
Kip
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, Sept. 29
Hello Friends,
Thanks for your poetry/prose suggestions, and please keep them coming. We are already enjoying them (the e. e. cummings made me cry...it's beautiful, thank you).
I think when this is all done we will have a party and display the charts. They are proving to be incredibly helpful: today I had nausea and looking back over the charts of the past two chemos, this is not atypical. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Having said that, Catherine is a Capricorn and enjoys the process of keeping track (and I think I did see some horn-rimmed glasses around here somewhere...please see Roberta's comments).
We ordered a new fridge in August and after almost 2 months of waiting, it finally arrived today. It feels great to be able to see all of the food clearly and keep it organized.
I'm thinking about my folks tonight--my mother went into emerg today with abdominal pain. They are unclear is it's her Crohn's disease or Shingles, neither of which are easy options. She has been under a lot of stress of late and it's taking a toll. Hopefully she will be able to get it under control with the new medications. It's hard to be away and helpless when your loved ones are sick and struggling.
Much love,
Kip
Thanks for your poetry/prose suggestions, and please keep them coming. We are already enjoying them (the e. e. cummings made me cry...it's beautiful, thank you).
I think when this is all done we will have a party and display the charts. They are proving to be incredibly helpful: today I had nausea and looking back over the charts of the past two chemos, this is not atypical. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Having said that, Catherine is a Capricorn and enjoys the process of keeping track (and I think I did see some horn-rimmed glasses around here somewhere...please see Roberta's comments).
We ordered a new fridge in August and after almost 2 months of waiting, it finally arrived today. It feels great to be able to see all of the food clearly and keep it organized.
I'm thinking about my folks tonight--my mother went into emerg today with abdominal pain. They are unclear is it's her Crohn's disease or Shingles, neither of which are easy options. She has been under a lot of stress of late and it's taking a toll. Hopefully she will be able to get it under control with the new medications. It's hard to be away and helpless when your loved ones are sick and struggling.
Much love,
Kip
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, Sept. 28
Dear All,
Catherine here again. Today was a beautiful rainy fall day, and Kip and I took a walk around the neighbourhood and to see Mimico Creek where the ducks were being swept along to Lake Ontario. Kip woke up with a fair bit of bone pain, (from the growth hormone shot) but it's managed with tylenol. We have deduced that day 5 or 6 - it seems when the blood levels are starting to go down - are hard days emotionally. This makes some sense as we really are our chemistry. Personally, I am finding it helpful to find patterns in the cycles of chemotherapy and Kip is being good natured about my need to chart stuff.
The Britney Spears episode of Glee tonight hit the spot. Yay for the fact that evening tv just keeps getting better.
One more treatment of the AC protocol, and then the next cocktail is called Taxol, which generally has easier side-effects than the present concoction. It takes longer to be administered so we're thinking about ways to pass the time in 'chemo daycare' as they call it. It will be 3 hours once we're in. I am personally voting for reading poetry. Other thoughts about how to pass three hours? Or, if you have great poetry (or prose) suggestions, please send on to us.
Love to all,
Catherine
Catherine here again. Today was a beautiful rainy fall day, and Kip and I took a walk around the neighbourhood and to see Mimico Creek where the ducks were being swept along to Lake Ontario. Kip woke up with a fair bit of bone pain, (from the growth hormone shot) but it's managed with tylenol. We have deduced that day 5 or 6 - it seems when the blood levels are starting to go down - are hard days emotionally. This makes some sense as we really are our chemistry. Personally, I am finding it helpful to find patterns in the cycles of chemotherapy and Kip is being good natured about my need to chart stuff.
The Britney Spears episode of Glee tonight hit the spot. Yay for the fact that evening tv just keeps getting better.
One more treatment of the AC protocol, and then the next cocktail is called Taxol, which generally has easier side-effects than the present concoction. It takes longer to be administered so we're thinking about ways to pass the time in 'chemo daycare' as they call it. It will be 3 hours once we're in. I am personally voting for reading poetry. Other thoughts about how to pass three hours? Or, if you have great poetry (or prose) suggestions, please send on to us.
Love to all,
Catherine
Monday, September 27, 2010
Monday, Sept 27
Hi Friends,
Today, Catherine and I went for a walk and then this afternoon Mary Louise stopped by and visited for a while. It was great to catch up on some Kingston news. Tonight Catherine and Mary Louise are downtown at Sharon's memorial service (Sharon spent many years in Toronto and they organized a second memorial for her at the U. of T).
Jules and I spent a quiet night at home, the first night this season with the furnace on to keep the damp at bay.
Love,
Kip
Today, Catherine and I went for a walk and then this afternoon Mary Louise stopped by and visited for a while. It was great to catch up on some Kingston news. Tonight Catherine and Mary Louise are downtown at Sharon's memorial service (Sharon spent many years in Toronto and they organized a second memorial for her at the U. of T).
Jules and I spent a quiet night at home, the first night this season with the furnace on to keep the damp at bay.
Love,
Kip
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, Sept. 26
Hi Friends,Thanks for your emails and calls, and I'm doing better on this round of chemo. It might be a result of one of the new drugs that seems to agree with me more, or maybe it's my body simply adjusting to the treatments. Either way, the nausea is more managed. Other side effects continue, but they too are more bearable with less nausea. I guess everything is.
I had several people write and ask about the human growth hormone. I get that injection the first day after a round of chemo, and it forces my bone marrow to produce more blood cells. That way I'm less prone to infection and bleeding, and it helps my levels not to drop so far that I'm not ready for the next round. Because I'm on the "dense dose" chemo (every two weeks rather than three), the drugs are harder on the body and don't allow enough time to get blood levels back to normal. The side effect is bone pain across my body for a few days, but mostly in my hips (managed with Tylenol). The interesting side effect is that my nails are growing like mad (a happy occasion because nails can actually fall out during chemo...uugh. I don't think I run the risk of that.) But it makes me wonder about those athletes who get these growth hormone injections - I can't imagine doing this to my body willingly.
The picture above is of Teddy (sporting my lovely face mask), who arrived the first day of chemo with my friend Diane.
Thank you all again for your calls and words and energy and love,
Kip
Friday, September 24, 2010
Friday, Sept. 24
Dear Friends,
Catherine here again. Today was a slow day, much as expected. The new anti-nausea meds are better than the last, and they do make Kip sleepy.
Barb dropped in, we watched some Glee. The home care nurse, Christina came to give Kip the shot of growth hormone. This whole process is pretty amazing 'flooding' therapy for someone with a needle phobia.
Tonight, we began on Prime Suspect - we have the whole series and it looks to be weeks of viewing pleasure.
Kip slept well last night, in the little bedroom that the dining room has turned into.
Okay, hope you are all well,
Love,
Catherine (and Kip)
Catherine here again. Today was a slow day, much as expected. The new anti-nausea meds are better than the last, and they do make Kip sleepy.
Barb dropped in, we watched some Glee. The home care nurse, Christina came to give Kip the shot of growth hormone. This whole process is pretty amazing 'flooding' therapy for someone with a needle phobia.
Tonight, we began on Prime Suspect - we have the whole series and it looks to be weeks of viewing pleasure.
Kip slept well last night, in the little bedroom that the dining room has turned into.
Okay, hope you are all well,
Love,
Catherine (and Kip)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Chemo #3
Today went fine. Julie drove us all down for 1:00 and apparently there were lots of other people booked for 1:00 too. We got in about 3:30 and were home by 6.
There is a tradition on the chemo ward where they ring a bell for anyone who finishes their chemotherapy, and then everyone in the ward, and in the waiting area, claps. It's pretty overwhelming. The bell rang four times today while we were there.
When we got home, Kip managed to eat some soup, crackers and banana bread! She's on new anti-nausea drug that seems to be helping, but it makes her really dopey. But dopey is way better than nauseous. I have a good feeling about this new drug, and hope that this is the round where nausea is almost non-existent!
Thank you for all your thoughts, cards, calls, love. 3 down, 5 to go.
There is a tradition on the chemo ward where they ring a bell for anyone who finishes their chemotherapy, and then everyone in the ward, and in the waiting area, claps. It's pretty overwhelming. The bell rang four times today while we were there.
When we got home, Kip managed to eat some soup, crackers and banana bread! She's on new anti-nausea drug that seems to be helping, but it makes her really dopey. But dopey is way better than nauseous. I have a good feeling about this new drug, and hope that this is the round where nausea is almost non-existent!
Thank you for all your thoughts, cards, calls, love. 3 down, 5 to go.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, Sept. 22
Hi Friends,I had a good day today with a nice long nap. That's a first in this whole process - the drugs rev up my body so a nap is truly a cherished event. Late this afternoon Julie and I went for a walk in the Butterfly Garden, and sure enough, lots of butterflies came to say hello and be photographed.
In an earlier post, Janet made reference to Michael Franti's "Sound of Sunshine" and said that she thought of me when she heard it. In fact, I first heard that song just after I was diagnosed and it has become one for my fall playlist. Some of the lyrics are bang on, and it has such a happy and optimistic feel to it. I'll attach the link so you can all have a listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otPHJEm8b94&feature=related
Round three of chemo is tomorrow, so I'll sign off for a few days. Much love to all of you...
Kip
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday, September 21
Hi Friends,
We went down to Princess Margaret today for blood work, an appointment with the oncologist, and to pick up the prescriptions for Thursday. There were many long lines--1.5 hours for blood work and about the same at the pharmacy--and we made it back home in about 6 hours. The great news is that Tito has shrunk again, not as much as the first time, but he continues to be on the run. They say that tumors often shrink a lot at first and that we should expect for that to slow down as the process continues. So we will be patient.
In the meantime, we continue with the science experiment known as Kip. Mouth sores, eyes that continually feel like I'm chopping onions and the like. All mucous-related bits of the body--of which I now know there are many--become inflamed and sore with these drugs, so it's to be expected.
But tonight a new season of Glee begins and I will enjoy that with an oversize popsicle.
Much love,
Kip
We went down to Princess Margaret today for blood work, an appointment with the oncologist, and to pick up the prescriptions for Thursday. There were many long lines--1.5 hours for blood work and about the same at the pharmacy--and we made it back home in about 6 hours. The great news is that Tito has shrunk again, not as much as the first time, but he continues to be on the run. They say that tumors often shrink a lot at first and that we should expect for that to slow down as the process continues. So we will be patient.
In the meantime, we continue with the science experiment known as Kip. Mouth sores, eyes that continually feel like I'm chopping onions and the like. All mucous-related bits of the body--of which I now know there are many--become inflamed and sore with these drugs, so it's to be expected.
But tonight a new season of Glee begins and I will enjoy that with an oversize popsicle.
Much love,
Kip
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday, Sept 20
Hi Friends,
More energy today, and Catherine, Jules and I went for a walk down at the butterfly garden at the end of Parklawn Road. The garden is truly amazing, it borders on Lake Ontario and the Toronto skyline is in the backdrop. Because it only takes a few minutes to drive there, and because it makes you feel like you are in another rural world, I suspect we will frequent it this fall and winter.
Catherine ran 7k today (well done!) and we did our meditation, then went for the walk. Jules made a lovely dinner upon our arrival home.
My eyes are still burning today - quite an annoying side effect. We meet with the oncologist tomorrow to go over my blood work and symptoms (including how to deal with them) and learn more about Tito and Blanket's status. Update to follow tomorrow night.
Much love,
Kip
More energy today, and Catherine, Jules and I went for a walk down at the butterfly garden at the end of Parklawn Road. The garden is truly amazing, it borders on Lake Ontario and the Toronto skyline is in the backdrop. Because it only takes a few minutes to drive there, and because it makes you feel like you are in another rural world, I suspect we will frequent it this fall and winter.
Catherine ran 7k today (well done!) and we did our meditation, then went for the walk. Jules made a lovely dinner upon our arrival home.
My eyes are still burning today - quite an annoying side effect. We meet with the oncologist tomorrow to go over my blood work and symptoms (including how to deal with them) and learn more about Tito and Blanket's status. Update to follow tomorrow night.
Much love,
Kip
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday, Sept. 19, Thanksgiving Part 1
Hi everyone,
Today we started a new ritual. I have asked Catherine if we could have Thanksgiving dinner (roast chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce etc.) every second Sunday on my non-treatment weekend. Tonight Susan came in to share our meal which was absolutely delicious. It was wonderful to have my appetite back today so as to enjoy our meal.
Speaking of good food, below is the salmon recipe we mentioned earlier this week (from Dr. Oz). Enjoy...
Love,
Kip
Salmon with Mustard Crust and Sauteed Spinach
Serves 4
Non-stick cooking spray
1 small red onion, sliced very thin
1/3 cup Dijon mustard
1 small navel orange, peeled and cut into segments
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 (4-oz) salmon fillets
2 garlic cloves, sliced very thin
2 tbsp real bacon bits (optional)
12 oz baby spinach
Directions
Preheat the broiler on low. Line a baking sheet with foil; spray it with cooking spray and set it aside. In a small bowl, mix the onion with the mustard. Add the orange segments and toss to combine thoroughly. Season the mixture generously with salt and pepper. Lay the salmon on the prepared baking sheet; season it with salt and pepper. Divide the onion mixture among the 4 fillets, spreading it out to cover the surface of the fish completely.
Broil the salmon until the onion mixture is almost charred and the salmon is just cooked through, about 8 minutes. Meanwhile, heat a large non-stick sauté pan over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot, spray it with cooking spray. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, until it is very fragrant and just beginning to brown, about 1 minute. Then add the bacon bits and spinach, and season lightly with salt and pepper. Cover the pan and cook, stirring occasionally, until the spinach wilts, about 3 minutes.
When the spinach is cooked, remove it from the pan, draining off as much liquid as possible, and arrange it on a serving platter. Place the salmon fillets on top of the spinach, and serve.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Saturday, Sept. 18
Hi Everyone,
Today I had a little more energy, which was amazing. Catherine and I did our daily meditation with Jon Kabat-Zinn, and then this afternoon went to High Park where we met Catherine's brothers Paul and Ian, and Paul's partner Abbie (Abbie also teaches at Queen's and we sometimes get to run into each other on campus and have lunch). It was a fabulous walk and it felt great to get out (well, my gut is never entirely happy with movement but every other body part was celebrating). I'm excited to be beginning my upswing days before the next treatment on Thursday.
Thursday was a bad day for my cousin Ellen: she and her partner drove from Peterborough to Sunnybrook in Toronto for her surgery on Thursday and was turned away because they didn't have a bed. We are awaiting another surgery and/or chemo date for her. Hopefully that will be soon.
Much love,
Kip
Today I had a little more energy, which was amazing. Catherine and I did our daily meditation with Jon Kabat-Zinn, and then this afternoon went to High Park where we met Catherine's brothers Paul and Ian, and Paul's partner Abbie (Abbie also teaches at Queen's and we sometimes get to run into each other on campus and have lunch). It was a fabulous walk and it felt great to get out (well, my gut is never entirely happy with movement but every other body part was celebrating). I'm excited to be beginning my upswing days before the next treatment on Thursday.
Thursday was a bad day for my cousin Ellen: she and her partner drove from Peterborough to Sunnybrook in Toronto for her surgery on Thursday and was turned away because they didn't have a bed. We are awaiting another surgery and/or chemo date for her. Hopefully that will be soon.
Much love,
Kip
Friday, September 17, 2010
Low Day
Today was a low energy day. Kip and I did a meditation in the morning (Jon Kabat Zinn) and then Kip took a long 'kip' in the afternoon. Barb's new love Helen dropped by with tics to TIFF (yay!) and hopefully Julie will be able to use them tomorrow.
Kip's back is hurting, so hopefully she will be able to get more movement in the next few "good" days. The sun is supposed to shine, so that will help too.
We are hoping for more life force tomorrow. Apparently (who knew?) it hurts (physically, it burns) to cry when you are undergoing chemotherapy. More questions for the medical oncologist.... This seems a hard spot. If you're feeling sad you should be able to cry.
So, we will watch Glee (we're starting from the beginning, how beautiful is that?) and turn in early. Wishing you all a beautiful weekend.
Love,
Catherine (and Kip)
Kip's back is hurting, so hopefully she will be able to get more movement in the next few "good" days. The sun is supposed to shine, so that will help too.
We are hoping for more life force tomorrow. Apparently (who knew?) it hurts (physically, it burns) to cry when you are undergoing chemotherapy. More questions for the medical oncologist.... This seems a hard spot. If you're feeling sad you should be able to cry.
So, we will watch Glee (we're starting from the beginning, how beautiful is that?) and turn in early. Wishing you all a beautiful weekend.
Love,
Catherine (and Kip)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thursday, September 16, from Catherine
Today Kip woke up with nausea at zero (on a scale out of 10). This is cause for celebration all by itself! Of course, it didn't last all day, but good moments are to be savoured. We have decided that the more fine grained we can make the description of symptoms, perhaps the easier they are to manage. So far we have nausea, fatigue, energy (today's addition), appetite, disinclination towards food (anorexia), mood, and malaise. The crazy social-scientist/Capricorn in me is charting all of these symptoms happily. At the end of this, we have decided we will go into full time chemo-education. (Probably not, but it's a thought).
Today, I ran errands in the city (which involved Kip driving me), and made Abbie's granola (OHMYGODTHATSMELLSGREAT), and had a delicious salmon dinner with Julie.
Kip is feeling fragile, which makes sense, and intensely grateful for the love and support of friends. Tonight we are thinking about Ellen, Kip's cousin (fabulous Ellen for those who know of her) who underwent surgery at Sunnybrook today for ovarian cancer. She has been a source of laughter and light as she and Kip go through chemo together.
On the baldness front, by the way, Dorit, you're right, Kip looks beautiful bald. (For those of you interested, the grey hair fell out first. Some brown hair, sticking around.) So, Kip says that the feeling in her head is like the Science Center globe that glows energetically. It's prickly, sensitive and a little bit tender.
Love to all. Feel free to post here. Catherine
Today, I ran errands in the city (which involved Kip driving me), and made Abbie's granola (OHMYGODTHATSMELLSGREAT), and had a delicious salmon dinner with Julie.
Kip is feeling fragile, which makes sense, and intensely grateful for the love and support of friends. Tonight we are thinking about Ellen, Kip's cousin (fabulous Ellen for those who know of her) who underwent surgery at Sunnybrook today for ovarian cancer. She has been a source of laughter and light as she and Kip go through chemo together.
On the baldness front, by the way, Dorit, you're right, Kip looks beautiful bald. (For those of you interested, the grey hair fell out first. Some brown hair, sticking around.) So, Kip says that the feeling in her head is like the Science Center globe that glows energetically. It's prickly, sensitive and a little bit tender.
Love to all. Feel free to post here. Catherine
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Tuesday, from Catherine
Back from Edmonton, it was an overwhelming week there. Sharon's memorial was pretty much perfect.
Today I buzzed Kip's hair to a length that would make any marine proud. It's falling out pretty fast, but of course, Kip has the world's most beautiful head so that's less upsetting for the rest of us than for her. Kip is sporting a beautiful black toque that makes me need to speak in French. Nausea continues to be a problem, but it's better than yesterday. We went for a short walk in the fall air and realized we've never spent September together. Today Julie picked up the first season of Glee and Prime Suspect (the complete collection) so we're pretty damned excited. Love to all, Catherine
Today I buzzed Kip's hair to a length that would make any marine proud. It's falling out pretty fast, but of course, Kip has the world's most beautiful head so that's less upsetting for the rest of us than for her. Kip is sporting a beautiful black toque that makes me need to speak in French. Nausea continues to be a problem, but it's better than yesterday. We went for a short walk in the fall air and realized we've never spent September together. Today Julie picked up the first season of Glee and Prime Suspect (the complete collection) so we're pretty damned excited. Love to all, Catherine
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, Sept, 13
Hi Everyone,
Well, today is the first time in 41 years that I wasn't going back to school (on my sabbatical I took the winter terms, so I was always back in September). A strange feeling. Did it all go ok with those of you who went back?
Today I struggled with some nausea throughout the day, and felt like I'm in between worlds. I think that's true physically speaking, I'm just off the big drugs from the chemo but not yet quite ready to eliminate the last drug. They want me off the last one as soon as possible, and I reduced it once, but I'm not able to go without it yet. I'll do another day before I try to go down again. It's important not to get behind the nausea...it's a little unforgiving when it has the upper hand.
Hope you are all well...
Much love,
Kip
Well, today is the first time in 41 years that I wasn't going back to school (on my sabbatical I took the winter terms, so I was always back in September). A strange feeling. Did it all go ok with those of you who went back?
Today I struggled with some nausea throughout the day, and felt like I'm in between worlds. I think that's true physically speaking, I'm just off the big drugs from the chemo but not yet quite ready to eliminate the last drug. They want me off the last one as soon as possible, and I reduced it once, but I'm not able to go without it yet. I'll do another day before I try to go down again. It's important not to get behind the nausea...it's a little unforgiving when it has the upper hand.
Hope you are all well...
Much love,
Kip
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday, Sept. 12
Hello Friends,
I had a very nice visit with Sammi today, and otherwise rested for the day. The fatigue is strong, although sleep does not come easily. Today is day 4 after chemo, which means I'm off the heavy anti-nausea drugs and down to one drug to control that. Doing ok on that front.
I'm adding a picture that Julie took of me with some flowers I received this week (thank you Susan and Frieda for those). Thanks to all of you who have written, called and sent vibes...your support is really wonderful and lifts me up everyday.
Much love, Kip
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Saturday, Sept 11
Hi Everyone,
I had two lovely visits today, one from Dorit early this afternoon and one from Faye later this aft. Then the fatigue factor really hit and I'm totally exhausted tonight. So a short entry for this evening...
much love,
k
I had two lovely visits today, one from Dorit early this afternoon and one from Faye later this aft. Then the fatigue factor really hit and I'm totally exhausted tonight. So a short entry for this evening...
much love,
k
Friday, September 10, 2010
Day one after chemo...
Hi Everyone,
Overall, a very good day. The nausea wasn't as bad today as the first day after the first chemo, and I have a little more life force this time around. Things change daily, and I don't know what comes tomorrow, but today I was in the moment and happy for my progress.
I thought I would share that for the past few weeks I have been calling my breasts by name and I have found this to be quite helpful, for numerous reasons. The left breast (the one with cancer) I have named "Tito": not only is this a reference to a body part, but Tito was an energetic member of the Jackson 5. Kind of unpredictable, at times a bit out of control. The right one is "Blanket": son of Michael, quiet, seemingly very gentle, but we don't know much about him yet. Not sure yet if he is benign. But for now, he's quiet.
I could feel Tito burning today, and that's a great sign. The tumor is melting away. It's a day you don't want to take pain killers so you can feel the process happening. Tito is on the run.
Love,
Kip
Overall, a very good day. The nausea wasn't as bad today as the first day after the first chemo, and I have a little more life force this time around. Things change daily, and I don't know what comes tomorrow, but today I was in the moment and happy for my progress.
I thought I would share that for the past few weeks I have been calling my breasts by name and I have found this to be quite helpful, for numerous reasons. The left breast (the one with cancer) I have named "Tito": not only is this a reference to a body part, but Tito was an energetic member of the Jackson 5. Kind of unpredictable, at times a bit out of control. The right one is "Blanket": son of Michael, quiet, seemingly very gentle, but we don't know much about him yet. Not sure yet if he is benign. But for now, he's quiet.
I could feel Tito burning today, and that's a great sign. The tumor is melting away. It's a day you don't want to take pain killers so you can feel the process happening. Tito is on the run.
Love,
Kip
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Chemo #2
Jules reporting for Chemo Day #2.
After the long weekend, Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH for future reference) was more like Grand Central Station today, as staff tried to squeeze in Monday's 100 chemo patients throughout the remainder of the week. Like traveling through Grand Central, with its often tedious and endless delays, the chemo daycare process followed suit today. Hence, Susan (Kip's close friend and great colleague from McMaster University) and Kip were required to be patient patients in the chemo "daycare" waitroom. Yes, they did have the option to take a "restaurant buzzer" and leave the daycare to have a coffee or a short walk, the buzzer alerting them to return or else miss their seating for this necessary but quite unappetizing "meal". Instead, optimistic as they are, they remained close at hand to the daycare hostess in case the "rush" for chemo was not as bad as anticipated. Alas, it was wishful thinking and the wait dragged on for 2 hours. Kip, who uses every moment wisely, was, as per usual, an ideal patient, keeping well hydrated with spring water so that her veins would be at the ready. They were. It went well. She is home. Sipping ginger ale. Not moving at any great speed. Very positive. Quite sleepy. Happy to have Chemo Day #2 almost over with.
These next few days are the biggest hurdle so all your good wishes and thoughts, prayers and vibes are most appreciated. Good night.
Jules on behalf of Kip
After the long weekend, Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH for future reference) was more like Grand Central Station today, as staff tried to squeeze in Monday's 100 chemo patients throughout the remainder of the week. Like traveling through Grand Central, with its often tedious and endless delays, the chemo daycare process followed suit today. Hence, Susan (Kip's close friend and great colleague from McMaster University) and Kip were required to be patient patients in the chemo "daycare" waitroom. Yes, they did have the option to take a "restaurant buzzer" and leave the daycare to have a coffee or a short walk, the buzzer alerting them to return or else miss their seating for this necessary but quite unappetizing "meal". Instead, optimistic as they are, they remained close at hand to the daycare hostess in case the "rush" for chemo was not as bad as anticipated. Alas, it was wishful thinking and the wait dragged on for 2 hours. Kip, who uses every moment wisely, was, as per usual, an ideal patient, keeping well hydrated with spring water so that her veins would be at the ready. They were. It went well. She is home. Sipping ginger ale. Not moving at any great speed. Very positive. Quite sleepy. Happy to have Chemo Day #2 almost over with.
These next few days are the biggest hurdle so all your good wishes and thoughts, prayers and vibes are most appreciated. Good night.
Jules on behalf of Kip
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wednesday, Sept 8
Today was biopsy day on the "other" breast, the right one. Some questionable spots emerged on the ultrasound and MRI in July, and they aspirated it a few weeks ago but didn't get enough tissue to determine if there were cancerous cells. (The aspiration involved a needle that extracted tissue with no freezing. I don't remember feeling pain like that in a long, long time.) I was scheduled for a biopsy today so that they would have enough information, but my blood counts were still too low, and I was at risk for infection. So they aspirated again, but this time with freezing. Then they inserted a clip inside next to the questionable spots. That way if it is cancer, and it shrinks away with the chemo, they know where it was so they can do a lumpectomy. We have already decided that because of these "active" places, however, both breasts will be removed.
In the meantime, I feel like a small homing pigeon.
Chemo Number 2 starts tomorrow at 2:00. Susan Fast is coming into town to take me in for treatment. I'll sign off now for a couple of days and be back in touch on the weekend.
Much love,
Kip
In the meantime, I feel like a small homing pigeon.
Chemo Number 2 starts tomorrow at 2:00. Susan Fast is coming into town to take me in for treatment. I'll sign off now for a couple of days and be back in touch on the weekend.
Much love,
Kip
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Shrinkage
Hello All,
I had blood work today and a meeting with my medical oncologist. Great news - the tumor is shrinking. It felt as though it hurt less over the last week and sure enough, it's smaller.
This is once instance where shrinkage is good.
Kip
I had blood work today and a meeting with my medical oncologist. Great news - the tumor is shrinking. It felt as though it hurt less over the last week and sure enough, it's smaller.
This is once instance where shrinkage is good.
Kip
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, Sept. 6
Hello everyone,
Another good day...feeling more like myself again. Tomorrow I do blood work at 10:00 and then meet with the medical oncologist to go over the results and ensure I'm ready for another round of chemo on Thursday. I'm sure all will be fine.
Catherine left last night for Edmonton. Tomorrow evening she is giving a eulogy at Sharon Rosenberg's memorial service (Sharon, Catherine's closest friend, died of cancer at the end of July). I hope you will join me in sending her love and support for tomorrow evening and the rest of the week in Alberta.
With much love,
Kip
Another good day...feeling more like myself again. Tomorrow I do blood work at 10:00 and then meet with the medical oncologist to go over the results and ensure I'm ready for another round of chemo on Thursday. I'm sure all will be fine.
Catherine left last night for Edmonton. Tomorrow evening she is giving a eulogy at Sharon Rosenberg's memorial service (Sharon, Catherine's closest friend, died of cancer at the end of July). I hope you will join me in sending her love and support for tomorrow evening and the rest of the week in Alberta.
With much love,
Kip
Sunday, September 5, 2010
My dream...
Hi Everyone,I had a dream this week that I logged on to this blog and looked at some of the photos. While the pictures traced my progress and happenings, in none did I see my face. In fact, they were similar to those that appear with the "Financial Facelift," a weekly article in Saturday's Globe and Mail (the Report on Business section is my favorite...not a widely-known fact about me). The first picture in the blog was that shown above, my recently-cut hair at my feet. So we are going to play with that direction for a bit. Today's activity went well, and I'm now sporting a trim new haircut, courtesy of Catherine and Julie.
Love,
Kip
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Saturday, Sept. 4
A very good day.
Today, Catherine and I went to High Park for a walk, came back and cooked soup, and then rested. It was so wonderful to walk in the cooler outdoors and appreciate the smell of the soup (a recipe from today's Globe and Mail). I do find myself appreciative for energy, smells that I love, and food that goes down really well. The only side effect today was my mouth, which continues to worsen and be quite sore. I can live with that.
Catherine borrowed an electric razor, and tomorrow we cut my hair so I don't have clumps falling out this week. I'd rather take control of that from the get go and will start with a brush cut.
Who knows, perhaps it will even suit me.
Kip
Today, Catherine and I went to High Park for a walk, came back and cooked soup, and then rested. It was so wonderful to walk in the cooler outdoors and appreciate the smell of the soup (a recipe from today's Globe and Mail). I do find myself appreciative for energy, smells that I love, and food that goes down really well. The only side effect today was my mouth, which continues to worsen and be quite sore. I can live with that.
Catherine borrowed an electric razor, and tomorrow we cut my hair so I don't have clumps falling out this week. I'd rather take control of that from the get go and will start with a brush cut.
Who knows, perhaps it will even suit me.
Kip
Friday, September 3, 2010
Day Ten: Our trip to ER
Early in our relationship, Kip and I made a trip to ER. When Kip apologized to me about the day I said 'oh honey, this is my idea of quality time'. This remains true.
Last night I dreamed that I was visiting Kip in hospital and was sleeping on a couch in a visitor's area and snuck in to see how Kip was doing. Of course, there was a party in the room.
It wasn't quite like that today at Toronto General (we were worried Kip's platelets were dangerously low, but they were fine), but it was a little bit. Kip's amazing personality and great sense of humor continues to wow and amuse me.
Early in our relationship, Kip and I made a trip to ER. When Kip apologized to me about the day I said 'oh honey, this is my idea of quality time'. This remains true.
Last night I dreamed that I was visiting Kip in hospital and was sleeping on a couch in a visitor's area and snuck in to see how Kip was doing. Of course, there was a party in the room.
It wasn't quite like that today at Toronto General (we were worried Kip's platelets were dangerously low, but they were fine), but it was a little bit. Kip's amazing personality and great sense of humor continues to wow and amuse me.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thursday, Sept. 2
Hi Friends,
I'm in a highly immune-suppressed moment, so I'm staying close to home. My platelets are quite low (worst at days 7-10 after treatment), and I can feel the effects when I stand up - dizziness, fatigue. But the good news is that I'm off the anti-nausea medication and doing well with that.
Susan Fast brought a lovely dinner tonight from Burlington and we ate outside with a full appetite. Catherine bought a case of wine yesterday and is now next to me enjoying a few well-deserved glasses of a nice red. Fortunately, I have no taste for wine at all...amazing what chemo can do.
While searching for information, I found a blog support group for new cancer patients, aptly named the "chemo-sabis." It's encouraging to read posts that describe my symptoms exactly. I've also been in touch with Shannon Lord, Susan's sister (thank you for getting us in touch, Susan), who recently went through chemo and surgery and has lots of tips for managing what she calls all of this "cancer crap." She reminds me that a cancer diagnosis is frightening, angering, and sometimes, just laugh-out loud funny.
Thanks for reading and for your ongoing love and support. I can truly feel it.
Kip
I'm in a highly immune-suppressed moment, so I'm staying close to home. My platelets are quite low (worst at days 7-10 after treatment), and I can feel the effects when I stand up - dizziness, fatigue. But the good news is that I'm off the anti-nausea medication and doing well with that.
Susan Fast brought a lovely dinner tonight from Burlington and we ate outside with a full appetite. Catherine bought a case of wine yesterday and is now next to me enjoying a few well-deserved glasses of a nice red. Fortunately, I have no taste for wine at all...amazing what chemo can do.
While searching for information, I found a blog support group for new cancer patients, aptly named the "chemo-sabis." It's encouraging to read posts that describe my symptoms exactly. I've also been in touch with Shannon Lord, Susan's sister (thank you for getting us in touch, Susan), who recently went through chemo and surgery and has lots of tips for managing what she calls all of this "cancer crap." She reminds me that a cancer diagnosis is frightening, angering, and sometimes, just laugh-out loud funny.
Thanks for reading and for your ongoing love and support. I can truly feel it.
Kip
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Wednesday, Sept 1
Ahhh...
Not to wish my life away, but if my estimations are correct, I will be finished chemo on December 2nd. Now that it's September, that means three months from now. Mentally, it was helpful to turn the calendar over this morning. I'll be finishing the same day I was to teach my last class this term at Queen's. I know that surgery and radiation will follow in the new year, but having this part over will be a blessing.
Speaking of chemo, today we were down to the hospital for a bone density scan (chemo and post-treatment drugs can play a number on density, so they were getting a baseline). They want me off the anti-nausea drugs because of possible side effects. They agreed to give me more in case I run into trouble over the long weekend, but they asked me to go off them today if I can. I'll do my best.
My energy is better today, and if I can go drug-free, it will improve more soon. Fingers crossed. I feel more like myself than I have all week, and for that I'm grateful.
Much love,
Kip
Not to wish my life away, but if my estimations are correct, I will be finished chemo on December 2nd. Now that it's September, that means three months from now. Mentally, it was helpful to turn the calendar over this morning. I'll be finishing the same day I was to teach my last class this term at Queen's. I know that surgery and radiation will follow in the new year, but having this part over will be a blessing.
Speaking of chemo, today we were down to the hospital for a bone density scan (chemo and post-treatment drugs can play a number on density, so they were getting a baseline). They want me off the anti-nausea drugs because of possible side effects. They agreed to give me more in case I run into trouble over the long weekend, but they asked me to go off them today if I can. I'll do my best.
My energy is better today, and if I can go drug-free, it will improve more soon. Fingers crossed. I feel more like myself than I have all week, and for that I'm grateful.
Much love,
Kip
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