Hi Friends,
I began chemo three months ago today. While I have made some progress in my relationship with time, I am still temporally challenged. On days like this one, when it's grey and damp and cold, I want to go out beyond these four walls and sit in a cafe and have a coffee, look at lights, hear totally annoying Christmas music in the malls. It's surprising what I miss while in this isolation. I miss feeling well, that feeling of moving through the world with energy and life force and excitement. It's hard to hear from the specialists that it may take months or even years for me to feel 100% once my treatments are over. But I know I will again. Today, it seems like that's a long way off.
On the bright side, it's only one month until Christmas Day. I think this is the year I will make a snow angel, if the weather permits.
Love,
Kip
I love snow angels! I hope I can visit when you are in a snow angel mood and there is snow on the ground.
ReplyDeleteThe most important words you write-- other than snow angels-- are, "But I know I will again." That is hope and patience and faith. And with the love surrounding you, there is no losing.
Tuesday night Karen conducted the choirs, 4 days after her second chemo. She was the dynamo she always is and as musical as ever. What was truly encouraging was the love expressed by her students-- the future. And then the inspiration that Karen is.
Leda is beginning to work again, a bit, and enjoying the return.
Another friend, Barbara, my birthday twin although a few years older, has just been diagnosed. Her cancer is a DCIS, like my mother's. Barb says, "I hit the lottery of cancers. I will be OK. Some days are bad, but mostly I meditate and it's OK."
All of you are at different places in your diagnosis and recovery. All of you inspire me.
So in the hope and faith of healing, I chant for healing
TAYATHA OM
BEKHADZE BEKHADZE MAHA
BEKHADZE BEKHADZE RAYANDZA
SAMUGATE SOHA
Much love and peace,
Roberta
Oh, dear Kip... Well, how 'bout if we just find you some of those annoying Christmas songs and they show up right in your own home?
ReplyDeleteDean Martin is a good place to start:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN7LW0Y00kE&feature=related
Much love,
Abbie
I would also like to participate in making snow angels, preferably while it's snowing gently and the air is still and it's dark and quiet. Music to add to the playlist? maybe something from Cat Stevens' Tea for the Tillerman or Sarah Harmers You Were Here.
ReplyDeleteJust think, this time next week you will be finished chemo and looking forward to taking a breath.
Love to you and holding your hand
w
Hi Kip,
ReplyDeleteRoberta is right – your most important words are that you know you *will* feel well again. Time does have a nasty ability to speed or up slow down – usually doing exactly the opposite of what we want in the moment. However, time continues to move on, and it’s important to use this time to reflect on what you’ve done already, and what still awaits, and to think of some of life’s little pleasures you can do that you might have forgotten about, but will do again. Snow angels, annoying Christmas music (that I admittedly get some pleasure out of), time with friends and family… the list is endless! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and reminding me to take time for what is most important in my life! When I’m making snow angels with my kids this winter I’ll be thinking of you…
more song suggestions that have come to me: Lou Reed/I'm so free or Perfect day; Peter Gabriel/Salisbury Hill.
ReplyDelete