Hi Everyone,
Context:
1) Catherine is in Cobourg this weekend spending time with her Mom.
2) I made the (stupid) mistake of getting online to search Taxol, the new chemo drug I'll be starting this week. I learned that in 1960, the National Cancer Institute and the US Department of Agriculture began to screen plants for anti-cancer properties. Taxol is part of a family of drugs derived from the bark and needles of yew trees that has proven effective, especially in cases of ovarian cancer. (Can you imagine being a fly on the wall when the first researcher said "hmmm, let's try injecting some yew sap and see what goes"?). I was heartened by this first paragraph because I could visualize my body working with a plant derivative in fighting my cancer.
Then I read the second paragraph.
Apparently, because the liquid is thick and sticky, it needs to be pumped into the body. It is also an irritant, so the nurses need to watch carefully to make sure the vein doesn't lose its integrity. Whatever that means. Don't want to know.
Accordingly, last night's dream: I'm in the chemo day care and a team of nurses are searching for a viable vein in my right arm. (Because the cancer is on the left side, they must always use my right arm for chemo injections. That way if I develop an infection, it's further away from the cancer site and won't further complicate the tumor area. They also wrap up the arm with an electric blanket first in order to "plump up" the veins (the nurse's words) prior to injections. I'm sorry, but "plump up" and "veins" should never be used in the same sentence.) In the dream they can't find a vein, and I'm secretly happy because I don't want an irritating sap injected into me. When I awoke, I was stretched out with my right arm hiding in Catherine's pillowcase right at the corner of the bed, out of the nurses' sight. Clever unconscious.
I promised Catherine and Julie I won't go online anymore.
Thanks for your continued posts, they make me smile and laugh and cry and feel held and supported. It feels great to be out of chemo pms and back to more normal emotions.
And the Leafs are 4 and 0.
Miracles never cease.
Much love,
Kip
Hey Kip,
ReplyDeleteI was thinking today about chemical emotions and what to trust. How to know what to show and what not and the inability to censor. It has such huge bearing on my own emotional life. I don't always know what's real and what's silly reactionary emotions. It does me a world of good to just consider these things to become a more aware and sensitive husband and father and friend. Thank you for the conversation and sharing. I love you dearly, Walter
Re: Yews....Maybe it would be better to just focus on the whole tree and not the sap!
ReplyDeleteThe berries are beautiful and have such a great feel when you pick them. We used to mush them up when were kids. And then those little needles are green, green, green. Green is good.
There's a good photo here:
http://courses.washington.edu/bot113/conifer_slides/image/taxus_brevifolia.jpg
"Yew trees (the genus Taxus) orginated during the age of dinosaurs. At least seven species of yews now grow in the temperate forests of Asia, Asia Minor, India, Europe, North Africa, and North America, but yew species around the world can cross-pollinate and interbreed, making possible the large number of ornamental yew cultivars propagated today.
Yew trees have long been revered. Humans have used them for medicine, tools, weapons, and ceremonies for as long as we have lived near them. Their slow growth, sprouting, longevity, and dark evergreen needles evoked symbolism imbued with death, rebirth, and immortality. Some yew trees in the British Isles are estimated to be over 4,000 years old, the last extant remnants of native vegetation in Europe.
Yews tolerate full sunlight, but in the virgin forests where they evolved, they inhabit the shaded under-story and grow very slowly. In mature forests, they provide perches for birds of prey, fruits and seeds for squirrels and birds, browse for deer and elk, and soil stabilization along streams."
The description forgot to mention how good they are to protect against Titos.
lots of love,
Mary Louise
Judy's favourite tree is the yew. As Mary Louise's article points out, it comes in many forms. We have a couple of the shrubbery kind. Very appealing. Green is a good colour for visualizing, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd then Leda requested dark green for the cap I am making for her. A healing colour. Maybe a green cap should be coming your way, too? Karen requested a stylish, flashy silver.
Leda, whose research is on breast cancer, found out about a new test that she says all cancer patients should know about, called "ooncotype". No need to search on line. She is going to get additional information and share it.
Thinking of you daily, meditating through Medicine Buddha, love,
Roberta
I wrote too soon in the morning! Leda just sent the information. She wants all of us to know about it and share it with cancer patients. She especially asked me to send this information to Kip and Karen.
ReplyDeleteThe test is called "oncotype". It is no longer experimental and OHIP now covers it, which is good because it is expensive, about $4000. It is done on a small piece of fixed tumor tissue that the pathologist sends in. For Stage 1 or Stage 2, depending on the results of the test, it may not be necessary to have additional chemo. I realise this may not have direct benefit for you, Kip, because of how far you are into your treatment, but with so many of us on this blog, it may very well be that this oncotype test will help people who are reading. Certainly, Leda is hopeful she will not need additional chemo after this second masectomy.
Love,
Roberta
Thanks to all of you for posting. I just looked up the oncotype test online and see that it's appropriate for early stage breast cancer with no lymph involvement. Unfortunately, Karen and I both had some positive lymph nodes, but it's important for all of us to know for the future. Thanks, Roberta. And thanks ML for the pretty picture of the yew...I'll meditate on that image in chemo this week. K
ReplyDeleteMore on yews: They seem to used to make bows, as in bows and arrows. There's another image for you! And the wood looks gorgeous. xxx
ReplyDeleteI am sneaking in another tree poem--maple, not yew--while it's still October (in AB still but already November in ON). It's quite beautiful--tho' I don't want to underestimate the difficult effects of Taxol....
ReplyDeleteAn October Astonishment
by Garth Gilchrist
When I touched the yellow maple leaves
They entered me
Without my knowing
This morning after I'd picked them
I had their gold sweetness
In my veins
It was after holding them in my hands
Upon my skin
In the slant light dewy morning
Plunging my nose deep in amongst them
Wet and cold, snuffling
The autumn scent
Suffused into air and me
My eyes fixed on their open hands
Veined like mine
My fingers traced their fingers
Crimson stems in my palms
Conduits through which shape
And substance entered --
Mapleness
Only vaguely I sensed
Some ephemeral
Sap entering me
This morning, after
In my own bed I woke
Bathed full and swimming in yellow light
That hovers in and around
Smooth maple branches in late October
On crisp mornings
I'd fondled the seeds, too,
Fuzzy winged pods
Full of imperceptible roots
Bark and limbs
A million invisible leaves
I'd given handfuls to the waiting children
They went twirling
Whirling through the sky
Eager, alive with mapleness
Maybe for this
I woke that morning
Wholly content, pierced through
Astounded in my bed, wrapped
In the warm light
Of maples
Garth Gilchrist
1999
Garth Gilchrist of San Rafael, Ca, is an environmental storyteller whose prize-winning performances as John Muir bring the American naturalist to life for thousands of listeners each year. Garth's stories all spring from a life-long love of nature and people, and illumine our interdependence. He can be reached at
garthtales@aol.com